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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699731">Come Back to Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverarmedassassin/pseuds/silverarmedassassin'>silverarmedassassin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky x Reader, F/M, Fluff, Marvel - Freeform, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, mcu - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:41:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverarmedassassin/pseuds/silverarmedassassin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is excited to see his girl after three long weeks away. When she’s just within arms reach, a tragic accident causes a rift in their relationship - memory loss. What happens when she wakes up and can’t remember who Bucky is? Or worse, if she can only remember him as the Winter Soldier?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bucky/reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*THIS SERIES, AS IT HAS BEEN POSTED, IT DISCONTINUED. I AM CURRENTLY REWRITING/REWORKING SOME THINGS AND WILL HOPEFULLY BE BACK WITH SOME NEW AND IMPROVED ANGST. THANKS FOR THE INTEREST 🥰</p><p>I'm back! I have been thinking about this series for MONTHS now and have finally found the motivation to write #ThanksCorona. This is going to be a pretty angst-heavy series with some fluff scattered throughout. </p><p>Don't forget to leave some Kudos and comment if you enjoy :) Thanks for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Hey, Buck. I remembered to call before I headed out aren’t you proud?! I somehow convinced Jim to let me leave early today, so I’m going to be heading your way in a few. I’m so excited for our long weekend. And, while I’m excited to see you, I’m very excited to get away from the city. Nothing beats the calm of Upstate. Anyway, I’m rambling. I just wanted to call and check in before I headed out. See you in a little over three hours! I love you.”</em>
</p><p>Bucky smiled as your voice played over his phone’s speaker for the third time. While he was disappointed he’d been in the shower when you’d called, he was glad he had this voicemail to listen to. It never got old hearing you tell him you loved him.</p><p>It had been three weeks since Bucky had seen you. He’d been on a messy recon mission and had just returned early that morning. Instead of heading down to the city like he usually did after a mission, he had to stay at the Compound for debriefing and some medical check-ups. He wasn’t planning on telling you about the near-fatal stab wound he’d acquired the day before. Luckily, the knock-off serum Hydra had pumped into him led to decreased healing time.</p><p>Freshly showered, Bucky stood in front of his bathroom mirror deciding if he should shave the patchy beard that had begun to grow. While you claimed to be indifferent to the state of his facial hair, Bucky had always suspected you favored him fresh-faced. Something to do with the smell of his aftershave and the dimple on his chin.</p><p>With a final glance at his reflection, he decided the beard would go. As he turned the water on, F.R.I.D.A.Y’s accented voice rang through the room.</p><p>“Sergeant Barnes, your presence is requested in the common room downstairs,” the A.I. chirped.</p><p>“Can you tell them I’m busy? Y/N is on her way and I still need to get ready.”</p><p>“It’s an emergency, sir. I’m afraid Miss Y/L/N has been in an accident and is being transported to her nearest hospital.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking up is unpleasant. The distant sound of beeping and deep breathing lure you into consciousness, and the sharp pain radiating through your head helps to clear the fog clouding your mind. There’s a strong, sterile scent of antiseptic stinging your nostrils, and your right wrist is throbbing.</p><p><br/>Despite the effort it takes, you manage to open your eyes just enough for them to be burnt by a blinding light above you. Turning your head slightly to your left, towards the breathing, you slowly open your eyes again. A softer, more pleasant sight greets you this time. Through groggy, unadjusted vision, you make out a broad mass of a man sitting close to the bed. His soft snoring was making the chestnut locks around his face sway with every exhale.</p><p><br/>You sit for a moment staring at the sleeping man trying to make your brain catch up. Where were you? Why were you there? And who was this man? You’re about to open your mouth and try to speak when the door to the room opens.</p><p><br/>Another man, blonde and just as broad, appears. His back is to you as he shoves the door open with his shoulders.</p><p><br/>“Hey, Buck,” he begins to say as he turns. “I brought some coffee an-“ He cuts off when he sees you conscious. "Hey! You’re awake!”</p><p><br/>The brunette startles, then, and sits upright. The blonde deposits the box and cardboard cup holder he’d been carrying on the roll-away table next to your bed. “Why didn’t you call me, Buck?”</p><p><br/>The blonde turns his attention back to you, a smile on his all-too-familiar face. “Hey, how’re you feeling,” he asks softly.</p><p><br/>He seems kind and gentle, perhaps a little too caring towards someone he doesn’t know. You can tell by his clothes he’s not your doctor, but you feel drawn to trust him anyway.</p><p><br/>“Where…” You try, but your voice comes out like a croak, your throat scratching and burning from prolonged disuse. The blonde jumps to action immediately, pouring you a cup of water from the pitcher nestled on the counter across from your bed.</p><p><br/>“You’re in the medical wing at the Compound,” he says as he hands you the cup. When you don’t have the reaction he was looking for, he turns to look at the brunette before continuing. “Do you know what happened? Know why you’re here?”</p><p><br/>You shake your head, growing more confused and agitated with the questions and throbbing behind your eyes. Answers would be great, but all you want is to lean back and go to sleep.</p><p><br/>The blonde crouches down to bed-level now, the lightheartedness of his features bunching up into concern. “Do you know who I am?”</p><p><br/>You work to better focus your eyes so you can study his face. His blonde hair is cropped with military precision, worry lines creasing his once soft complexion. His blue eyes dance with worry and confusion, but there’s something soft there, too. You spend a few moments more studying his face when something inside your fuzzy brain clicks.</p><p><br/>“You’re Captain America. Ste-Steve Rogers,” you say timidly.</p><p><br/>Relief washes across Steve’s face as he nods and smiles brightly. “Yea! That’s good. What about him?” He motions to the brunette, who’s been motionless and quiet since Steve came in.</p><p><br/>You look over the man’s features like you had Steve. You study the way his dark hair falls in waves around his face and how his face seems to be permanently turned down in a scowl. His eyes, blue like his companion’s, are cold, sad, and almost desperate. For you to remember? For you to not?</p><p><br/>You shake your head when the face doesn’t trigger a memory or a name. He looks familiar, but not in the way Steve had. You’re sure you’ve never met this man.</p><p><br/>“No, I’m sorry.”</p><p><br/>At least, you don’t think you know him. Not until you see it. The brunette shifts closer to you and reaches his left hand out. It’s metal and, when he moves, the plates shift and glide to adjust.</p><p><br/>The Winter Soldier.</p><p><br/>“Honey…” The words die on his lips as he watches your reaction to his movement. He follows your wide gaze down to his outstretched metal palm. You stiffen, shift away as best as you can among the wires and bandages covering your body. He closes his hand into a fist and brings it back to his body in an attempt to hide it from you.</p><p><br/>“Wh-why is he here,” you ask, panic-filled eyes finding Steve’s. The Soldier, Bucky you recall Steve calling him, flinches at your words. You can hear the scraping of metal as he clenches his fist tighter.</p><p><br/>The incessant beeping that had fallen into the background is now stronger and a lot louder. You recognize the sound of the heart monitor as it keeps time with your increasing heart-rate.</p><p><br/>“Captain Rogers,” a disembodied Irish lilted voice chimes through the room, startling you even more. “Ms. Y/L/N’s heart rate and blood pressure have risen to a dangerous level for her condition. Shall I notify Dr. Banner?”</p><p><br/>“Don’t worry about it, F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll get him,” Bucky says as he stands. “I was on my way out.”</p><p><br/>“Buck,” Steve says as he reaches out for his friend to no avail. As you watch Bucky’s broad form disappear from the doorway, you feel yourself automatically relax back into the bed.</p><p><br/>&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p><br/>Bucky didn’t stray too far from your room once you were joined by Dr. Banner. Much to Bucky’s chagrin, Bruce had insisted he and Steve leave so he could ask you some questions and evaluate your wounds in private.</p><p><br/>Steve had reassured Bucky that nothing was going to happen to you if he stepped away for a while, but he’d rather not risk it. That’s why he spent the duration of your time with Bruce pacing back and forth in front of your room.</p><p><br/>In hindsight, Bruce wasn’t sharing any information Bucky didn’t already know. Since it was apparent you didn’t remember what happened to bring you to the Compound, Banner was most likely filling you in on the details. You’d been in a car accident caused by some asshole who decided that texting his girlfriend back was more important than watching the road.</p><p><br/>When they’d got the call that you were en route to the closest hospital, it was Tony who’d insisted that you were immediately transferred into Banner’s care at the Compound. There were very few dumb enough to fight with a Stark, so the president of the hospital agreed to release you into his care as soon as you were looked over by the trauma center.</p><p><br/>On the surface, everything appeared to be intact. The fractured right wrist, broken ribs, and countless scraps and bruises up and down your body aside, you were in decent condition. But internally, things got tricky.</p><p><br/>A CT scan alerted doctors to the real dangers of your accident - severe brain swelling and internal bleeding. It wasn’t anything Banner hadn’t seen before, but neither condition was necessarily a good diagnosis, even with Avenger-level treatment plans.</p><p><br/>Bucky had to admit it was horrifying seeing all the wires, tubes, and cords coming out of you as you lay unconscious for almost a week. Bruce had promised that medically inducing a coma was the best option for you at the time, but Bucky began to question it when you started getting poked and prodded. It was a sight that was going to be forever burned into his already fragile mind.</p><p><br/>“You’re going to put a hole in the floor if you keep this up,” Steve said from where he was sitting. Bucky knew his best friend was just as worried about you as he was, but it grated on his nerves how calm he was being in the moment.</p><p><br/>“Steve, she doesn’t recognize me. I’m pretty sure she only sees me as the Soldier right now.” Bucky turned to his friend, wide-eyed and frazzled. As someone who dealt with the turmoil of having someone they deeply care about not remembering them, Bucky couldn’t understand why Steve wasn’t at least a little concerned.</p><p><br/>“She’s just waking up, pal. I’m sure once she spends some time with Banner and comes to a little more, everything will be okay. It’s going to be fine.”</p><p><br/>Bucky huffs as he plops down next to Steve in the uncomfortable hospital-grade chairs. He buries his face in his hands and lets out a shaky breath. Steve had to be right. You were Bucky’s tough girl after all. You’d put up with him almost every day for nearly two years. A car accident wasn’t going to wear you down.</p><p><br/>He feels Stever perk up next to him as the door just down the hall clicks shut. Bucky looks up to find Bruce walking towards them, a solemn look on his face.</p><p><br/>“How is she?” Steve speaks first.</p><p><br/>Bruce takes the seat on the other side of Steve and exhales. “Well,” he starts as he looks at his interlaced fingers in his lap. “The good news is she’s going to be fine. I want to do a few more scans and monitor brain activity for a while longer, but everything is checking out fine. But…”</p><p><br/>Bruce takes a deep breath and Bucky thinks he might explode from the unnecessary suspense.</p><p><br/>“I’m afraid she’s suffering from amnesia. Retrograde amnesia to be exact. It’s a pretty profound case. She remembers some things, knows who Steve and I are, is aware of the Avengers in general. But it seems like a good chunk of the past few years is gone.”</p><p><br/>“Well is it going to come back? Are her memories still there?” Bucky interrupts. Of everything that could go wrong, this is the worst in his mind. Not knowing who you are, who your loved ones are is the worst feeling he’d ever experienced. The thought of you having to suffer from the same feelings for any amount of time twisted his gut.</p><p><br/>“I can’t say. That’s why I’m going to do some more tests. Only time will tell how she recovers from this. We just have to stay positive.”</p><p><br/>Bucky was a lot of things - efficient, honest, and loyal to name just a few - but positive wasn’t at the top of that list. He could feel his blood pressure rising as he thought of his next question.</p><p><br/>“Does she at least remember me?”</p><p><br/>Bruce looked at him then, his face twisted up in pain. “She thinks…she thinks you’re still the Soldier.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Slowly but surely, the wires and tubes start disappearing. By your fifth day awake in the Compound, all but the heart monitor and a few electrodes are carted away from your room. Dr. Banner reassures you daily that you’re making “great progress,” and that, hopefully, your memory will return to normal soon. You’re still not sure what that means.</p><p>You sigh as you look towards the holoscreen Dr. Banner had installed in your room to occupy your time. You had access to thousands of T.V. channels from across the world and a seemingly endless supply of movies to watch, but you never took advantage. Instead, you kept a live feed of the Compound grounds on. Tony Stark had had a few of the security cameras’ feeds rerouted so you could have some kind of window to the outside world.</p><p>Between your bouts of unconsciousness and mindlessly watching the outside, members of the Avengers would trickle in from time-to-time. You’d met almost everyone on the team, even members you’d never knew existed. But, while you enjoyed getting to meet and know each of them, you’d found comfort in just a few.</p><p>Steve, of course, was at the top of your list. The super-solider had made a habit of visiting you daily, usually multiple times a day. He’d bring a meal and a deck of cards and spend hours telling you stories. He talked about everything - life growing up, his experience in the war. He talked about it all, but he would always tread lightly when the Soldier, Bucky you would remind yourself, was brought up.</p><p>You hadn’t seen Bucky since that first day, at least not fully. When Steve would stop by, you’d often catch a glimpse of the man just outside your door. You’d sometimes hear him talking with Banner after the doctor came to check on you, but Bucky never made it in the room. And for that, you were grateful.</p><p>The others didn’t mention him much, only Sam on occasion. But it was usually in an off-hand, humorous kind of way. That made you like Sam. Unlike Steve, he didn’t talk about Bucky like he placed the sun in the sky. You understood Steve’s fondness, remembered that they were childhood friends despite it all, but it still left a bad taste in your mouth. With Sam, though, it was jokes and conversations about learning to cope with this new, unfamiliar life you’d woken up in.</p><p>“Knock knock,” a voice sing songs from the doorway, drawing you from your thoughts. You look over to find Wanda with a large container of take-out in her hands. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face.</p><p>Wanda had quickly become another comfort during your time. She was caring, witty, and overall a great person to talk with. Aside from Steve, she spent the most time down with you. When it was announced you were awake and able to see visitors, she promptly brought you down a pair of pajamas and a decent stack of clothing so you wouldn’t have to lie around in the uncomfortable hospital gown.</p><p>“I figured you might be hungry, so I brought you a little something,” Wanda says as she moves to sit in the chair next to your bed. “How are you feeling today?”</p><p>You smile weakly. “Tired. My head kind of hurts, but I’m okay.” You shrug and take the container from Wanda’s outstretched hands. “You haven’t seen Steve, have you? He usually stops in by now.”</p><p>“The team got called out this morning. A few others and I stayed behind to man the Compound and take care of you,” Wanda smiles and winks. She knew how much you hated being doted on.</p><p>You and Wanda sit and eat lunch together. She’s in the middle of a story about her brother when there’s a soft knock on the door. When you turn, you find Dr. Banner’s smiling face peeking in through the crack.</p><p>“You’re awake,” he exclaims as he shuffles in, holopad in hand. “I’m glad. I have some news for you.”</p><p>Bruce brings over the roller chair, the only normal, doctor-like piece of furniture to be found in the high-tech room, and sits. “I’m pleased with the amount of progress you’ve been making. Brain activity is back in the normal range, your ribs are healing nicely, and your vitals have been steady. To the point where I feel comfortable releasing you from the medical wing.”</p><p>You perk up then, looking from Bruce to Wanda with a wide smile on your face. “I can go home?”</p><p>It’s not that you didn’t enjoy being at the Compound. The food was great, the company was even better, and, despite it all, you felt more relaxed than you had in years. But you were starting to get stir-crazy. You missed the routine of day-to-day life.</p><p>“Well, not exactly,” Bruce takes his glasses off and slips them on top of his head. “While I’m comfortable with you not being monitored twenty-four-seven, I would like to keep an eye on you, just until your memories return.”</p><p>“If they return,” you grumble.</p><p>“But,” Bruce ignores your offhand comment, “I’ve already talked with Tony about you staying, and he set up a room for you. It’s far more comfortable than this sterile place, and you’ll have an actual window to look out instead of a screen.”</p><p>“It’s right by mine and Steve’s,” Wanda says reassuringly as a grimace settles on your face.</p><p>“That’s nice and all,” you say, “but what about my life? Rent? My classes? I can’t just abandon everything.”</p><p>The duo shares a look before Bruce speaks. “You’re…you graduated two years ago. You don’t remember that?”</p><p>“Of course I don’t remember!” you shout. “I don’t remember anything. And it turns out I don’t even remember myself.”</p><p>You bury your face in your hands before they can see the tears in your eyes. It wasn’t right to shout, but you’re so frustrated and upset about the situation that it just happened. All you wanted was to go back to the city, see your friends, and return to normal life - whatever that looked like for you now.</p><p>Graduated? Two years ago? Exactly how much were you missing?</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dr. Banner was right, the room they set up for you was much nicer than where you were staying prior.</p><p>After your mini-meltdown, Bruce and Wanda explained that your expenses would be taken care of back home and that they’ve already been in touch with your boss. Apparently, he’d been very understanding of the situation. Wanda then wheeled you through the seemingly endless halls of the Compound pointing out various offices, rooms, and common areas before getting to your room.</p><p>It was definitely better than the medical ward room, twice the size even. Despite the ultra-modern design, it felt homey. Wanda informed you Steve and Sam had gone to your apartment in the city to grab some of your personal belongings so you didn’t feel so out-of-place.</p><p>It was nice seeing your favorite blanket draped across the bed and a stack of books on the nightstand. You can’t help but wonder if you’ve already read them or not. Wanda doesn’t leave you much time to think about that, though, as she is intent on showing you around your spacious living space.</p><p>The bathroom looked like it belonged in a space station and, if it weren’t for Wanda showing you, you probably would never have figured out the shower. She even showed you the closet, which was stocked, allegedly, with your own items.</p><p>“Why are you all being so nice to me?” you ask as you try and make yourself comfortable on the edge of the bed. “You don’t even know me.”</p><p>Wanda smiled sadly before coming over to sit next to you. “Oh, Y/N.” She wraps you up in a hug and doesn’t offer a proper explanation. “Why don’t you get some rest and we’ll talk more later?”</p><p>As she makes her way from the room, you realize how tired you’re actually feeling. Maybe a little nap wouldn’t hurt.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>It’s not until several hours later that you wake up. By how dark it is in your room, you can tell it’s well into the night. Your mouth is bone dry, and you contemplate if it’s worth getting up to get something to drink when your stomach growls. That settles it.</p><p>As you carefully slide out of bed, you check the illuminated alarm clock that’s set on the bedside table. 2:15 a.m. When Wanda showed you around earlier, you didn’t see any of the other Avengers, so you assumed it was only Wanda, Bruce, and you at the Compound. Hopefully, you think, neither is still awake.</p><p>You decide to forego the wheelchair that Bruce had insisted you use when you came up to the room. The kitchen wasn’t too far, after all. You make your way down the dimly lit hall as quietly as you can. You don’t hear anyone else or see any lights on, so you figure you’re the only one awake.</p><p>Your stomach rumbles again as you get to the kitchen. Wanda hadn’t actually shown you where anything was, so you rummage through the cabinets before finding a few cans of soup. You grab a few to get a better look at your options.</p><p>“You’re up late,” a deep voice says from behind you.</p><p>You jump and drop one of the cans of soup onto the floor, startled from the unexpected guest. You turn to find Bucky standing on the other side of the kitchen island, watching you intently. He only breaks eye contact when he bends to pick up the can of soup that rolled across the kitchen.</p><p>“Wa-Wanda said I could help myself,” you say as he makes a face at the soup. “If it’s yours I’ll replace it, I promise.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine,” Bucky laughs, setting the can on the island. “But this stuff is awful. Wanda made spaghetti for dinner, have some of that.” Your eyes never leave him as he walks over to the fridge and pulls out a large bowl before also setting it on the counter and sliding it over to you.</p><p>“Thanks,” you say quietly as you peel back the cling wrap and place it in the microwave behind you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath to try and calm yourself. You felt uneasy having your back to Bucky, but it felt safer than having a staring match with the assassin. Ex-assassin, you remind yourself.</p><p>“Wanda wanted to wake you up for dinner, but I told her not to. Figured you needed the rest,” Bucky says. You turn slightly to look at him and offer a small, forced smile. You just wanted him to go away. When he starts rummaging around for a bowl and cereal, you realize he’s probably not going anywhere anytime soon.</p><p>“When did you guys get back?” you ask quietly as you turn back to the microwave.</p><p>“What? Oh, no I sat this one out. But the team isn’t back yet, part of the reason I’m up.”</p><p>To distract from the looming figure across the room and the knot in your stomach, you start going through the many draws looking for a fork. Bucky must catch on because, a few moments later, a fork is being slid across the sleek counter in the same manner as the bowl of spaghetti had been.</p><p>“Top drawer next to the fridge,” he says. You can hear the smile in his voice.</p><p>The fact Bucky was being so nice, so generous was confusing to you. When you looked at or thought of him, all you could see was the silver-armed assassin who literally destroyed an entire block of D.C. and nearly killed his best friend. Making sure you were rested and fed was the last thing you’d ever imagined from him.</p><p>With the microwave beeping, you quickly grab the fork and bowl without letting it cool. You’d had no intention of eating in your room but staying out in the kitchen with Bucky was too uncomfortable. You thank him again and quickly shuffle back towards the hall your room is in.</p><p>“Hey Y/N?” Bucky calls from where he’s seated at the island. You stop and wait for him to continue. “I’m glad you’re okay. Really.”</p><p>You don’t turn, only nod and continue down the hall. You try to ignore the churning in your stomach as you do so.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>It’s the early morning sun that wakes Bucky up. Not his alarm, not Steve, not F.R.I.D.A.Y. He’d warned, no threatened everyone in the compound with an inch of their lives if they woke him up. His girl was finally here and nothing and no one was going to get him out of bed before noon.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Bucky shifts just enough so that he can see you cuddled up to his side, face gently lit by the morning glow. He can’t resist reaching out and running his metal thumb - the thumb on the hand he never thought could be so delicate, could hold anything as soft and beautiful as you - across the peaks and valleys of your features.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’d only been a week since he’d seen you last, but it felt like a lifetime. Between your schedule and his chaotic lifestyle, the only time the two of you have recently been able to spend together was on the weekends. Bucky made a mental note to talk to Steve about easing up on the training and amount of missions he was required to go on. The agents on his strike team would be fine without him. He was the one that trained them, after all.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You stir slightly and, if you hadn’t crinkled your nose in the way he loves, Bucky would feel bad about waking you. Any inkling of regret disappears when your eyes slowly flutter open to reveal your sleepy eyes - bright and love-filled despite the lingering dream-filled haze.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Good morning,” you croak as you nestle into Bucky’s neck. He gently runs his flesh hand over the back of your head as you snuggle in closer. While there was very little he was thankful for about the bastard serum Hydra had pumped through him, his elevated body temperature was not one of them, especially on mornings like this. “What time is it?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Don’t know,” Bucky says. “Don’t care.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You laugh at his disregard, know that he’s blowing off something or other to spend extra time with you. You know Bucky so well, took the time to get to know him in and out in the seven short months you’ve been together. Knew his morning routines with Steve, how he took his coffee and the right amount of syrup to put on his pancakes. Your attention to detail, his details, was one of the many things he loved about you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Bucky paused at that thought. Loved. He’s not sure why he hadn’t realized it before, or if you felt the same, but he loved you. As cheesy as it sounds, he knew from the moment he met you, flustered and a little shy at one of the ridiculous Stark parties half of New York had been invited to, that you were going to be special to him. And each day he spent with you, you proved him right over and over.</i>
</p><p>“How are you doing, pal?” Steve interrupts Bucky’s memory with a firm grasp to the shoulder as the duo board the elevator that will take them to the Compound’s residential areas.</p><p>Bucky shrugged his best friend’s hand away with a grumble. He knew this was coming, he’d been too quiet during their morning run and had barely said anything on the way back to the ultra-modern building. But he was in a mood.</p><p>Bucky had barely seen you since that first night in the kitchen. Whenever he was around, you were not, and he knew that wasn’t a coincidence. Even after the team returned two days later, you barely left the refuge of your room with the exception to go see Banner. The only reason he still knew you were here was that Wanda often took meals to your room for you.</p><p>It hurt, knowing you were around and not being able to see you, but everyone had been telling him to give you space, give time the chance to do its job. Bruce was still hopeful your head would go back to normal, but with each day that passed, Bucky was losing both hope and patience.</p><p>“Steve, just don’t,” Bucky replied, shoving out of the elevator as the doors pushed open. He didn’t want to talk about it, about the fact you still, even after a week of being out of medical, didn’t remember him. He especially didn’t want to talk to Steve about it, because as much as he loved his best friend, he was terrible with relationship pep-talks.</p><p>“Buck, come on you can’t just-”</p><p>Before they can turn the corner into the communal living area, Bucky stops, placing an arm across Steve’s chest to get him to stop. Echoing through the hall, Bucky can hear your laughter, sweet and vibrant, just on the verge of hysterics. A twinge in his chest reminds him just how much he’s missed that laugh the past few weeks.</p><p>The super-soldier duo shares a look before Steve shoves around Bucky and into the living area. Bucky is quick to follow. The scene in front of them simultaneously warms Bucky’s heart and breaks it. You’re sitting next to Sam on the sectional in the middle of the room, mug in hand and blanket wrapped snuggly around your shoulders. Whatever the two of you had been watching on T.V. is long forgotten. Your face is beet red from laughing so hard at whatever Sam was saying.</p><p>“Speak of the devil!” Sam says his attention is drawn to the men. Your smile is quick to falter when you catch a glimpse of the men but recovers as he goes on. “I was just telling Y/N about the time you got your ass handed to you during recruit training.”</p><p>“It wasn’t that funny. I was going easy on them.” You start giggling as Steve crosses his arms and makes his way to the fridge. “At least my defeat was by a trained agent. Remember when Y/N got Bucky in a headlock the first time they sparred together?”</p><p>Bucky clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably as the energy in the room grows uncomfortable. Steve immediately swirls around and looks right at Bucky, realizing his mistake.</p><p>From your spot on the couch, you look between the three men, the smile quickly falling as your mind catches up with what was just said. “What?” you ask with a nervous laugh, looking to Sam for some kind of explanation.</p><p>“Man, what the hell?” Sam says as he throws his hands up in exasperation as he stands from the couch. “You can’t just say shit like that.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Steve grits out, “but we can’t keep her in the dark forever. I mean, it’s been two weeks and no one is saying anything to her?”</p><p>“She’s still confused,” Bucky growls. It’s his turn to throw his arms in the air. “Maybe if you listened to Banner from time to time, you’d know he strongly suggested to not tell her anything for the time being.”</p><p>“Uh, guys?” you ask quietly from where you’re kneeling on the couch. The three men pointedly ignore you, continuing to argue with one another about your own health like you weren’t in the room. “Steve?” you try again, but to no avail.</p><p>It all becomes a little too much, the raised voices hitting you like a break wall and instantly causing the headache that’d started to grow when you were watching T.V. with Sam to get even worse. You quickly decide it’s been enough time away from your room for today and quickly make your way down the hall.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>You spent the rest of the day in bed, only getting up to collect meal deliveries from Wanda. You didn’t even let her stay to eat with you. The argument between the men earlier took an emotional toll on you, and your headache was refusing to cease its attack.</p><p>It’s around one in the morning when you sigh and turn over. You spot your laptop Steve had picked up from your apartment sitting on the desk and decide you’ve spent too much time moping over your condition. It was time to find some answers since no one would supply them for you.</p><p>You run a quick Google search on yourself, find that you have, in fact, graduated college - with honors nonetheless - without even knowing. You’d interned at quite a few places around the city during the last years of your education, and wound up working at the NYC office of Stark Industries. No wonder they’re being so nice to me, you think as you scroll.</p><p>There are pictures from your graduation, from public events with the various organizations you’ve been with, and an interesting gallery of a Stark party gallery that you appear in quite a bit. It’s not until you reach the pictures of you and Bucky, arm slung casually around your waist and a love-drunk, dopey smile on his face that you’re really taken aback.</p><p>“What the…” You fully sit up in bed and scroll through the pictures of you and Bucky. There are about half a dozen more like the one you’d first saw, a handful from what seems like a photo booth, and then a few of the both of you with various members of the Avengers team.</p><p>Even though it’s your own smiling face looking back at you, your mind can’t comprehend what you’re seeing.</p><p>“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you ask timidly into the dark, empty room. Speaking to the AI still feels awkward for you. “Where is Bucky’s room at?”</p><p>“Sergeant Barnes’ is located just down the hall from you. Do you need anything?”</p><p>You stand, then sit, then stand again. You want to go to him, ask your questions and maybe, maybe get some answers. But you’re unsure if that’s a good idea. If he’s even open to talking to you.</p><p>“I, uh. I don’t know,” you say quietly.</p><p>“I can alert him that you’re awake and seem to be under stress.”</p><p>“No!” you say quickly. You don’t want him to come to you. You don’t want to bother him. “I, just…Is he awake?”</p><p>“Yes Miss Y/L/N. I can ask him to open his door, in case you would like to speak to him?”</p><p>For an AI, you’re impressed with how emotive F.R.I.D.A.Y sounds. She sounds caring, paternal almost, and you can’t help the warmth that blooms in your chest for the tech.</p><p>“Yes, please. But only if he’s okay with that.”</p><p>You sit for a few minutes, brewing on your thoughts and trying to figure out what questions you want to ask. The tiny voice in the back of your mind is yelling at you to not go anywhere near him alone, but he can’t be too dangerous, right? They wouldn’t let him live here if he was a liability. Plus, he hadn’t tried to harm you when you were alone in the kitchen the other night.</p><p>You stand and sigh, mind made up. You peak out your door and see a small sea of dim light flooding from a cracked door just two doors down. You hadn’t realized you were staying so close to Bucky. With a deep breath, you tiptoe down the hall before you can change your mind.</p><p>You peak through the ajar door and find Bucky sitting on his bed, book in hand. You can’t help but notice how soft he looks, sitting there seemingly lost in a world other than your own. You feel bad disturbing him, and almost turn back to your room when he looks up and smiles.</p><p>“You can come in if you’d like,” he says quietly.</p><p>You step fully into the light and push the door open the rest of the way. Bucky sets his book down on his lap and looks at you fully. He has a concerned look on his face, and his eyes are searching yours for some kind of explanation for your late-night visit. You make yourself step into the threshold, but stop short of getting any closer to him.</p><p>“I’m sorry to bother you, but, can we talk?”</p>
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